Clarence Claymore
"Ohhhhhh, Hoovin Shmoovin" : -Clarence Clarence, previously known as Doctor. C, is one of the main characters of the Big Lez Show. He currently works as a mailman and store clerk at Donny's Shop. He is said to have no friends (with the exception of Sergio Warnington). Nearly no one pays attention to him, often telling him to be quiet, shut the fuck up, shut up, or to fuck off (mostly by Lez). A descendent from Kingdom Cum, Clarence was a highly revered scientist in his past life, earning the respect and admiration of his co-workers. Multiple parties were thrown in his honour, and was thought to be attractive by his female co-worker Betty. His work as a scientist earnt him the Nobel Prize on Kingdom Cum for inventing the Warp Drive, and was also awarded Employee of the Decade. Clarence seems to look up to Nikola Tesla as his hero . Clarence was working on a mysterious yellow formula on Kingdom Cum which its last ingredient was his own blood (DNA). However, once he applied his blood, the formula turned him into a deformed green "Potatohead". His co-workers, as a result of his new appearance, eject him in a escape pod, sending him through the cosmos until he drifted onto Earth. He eventually landed on Choomah Island, where, after breaking his wrist, he discovers he has a healing ability. Life Clarence was once a brilliant Kingdom Cumian scientist who everyone looked up to but an accident in his lab transformed him into a "potadahead" causing everyone to vomit and scream in horror at his new appearance. They then banish him from Kingdom Cum in a spacepod along with his research (a vial of yellow substance), After eight years of floating in space ,Clarence crash landed on a island that would later become Choomah Island. While trying to find water Clarence then trips on a tree root, sending the vial of liquid down a massive hole and shattering. This results in the creation of the Choomah. Clarence then runs into Sassy and Donny playing chess. They then take him back to brown town to give him a steady job and to help him get back on his feet. Clarence is however looked down upon by Brown Town's society. Clarence owns a small boat which he uses to travel around in. He uses it to find Lez, Sassy, Donny and Nolzey on Choomah Island. After they steal his boat, he is left on the island. Afterwards, his fate is unknown and he is presumed dead. Clarence somehow winded up in prison saying he got 'just got thrown in" and escaped with Lez, Sassy, Scruffy, Wayn-O, Owly and Sergio to go to the Volcano Bong where Lez's spaceship is. Clarence asks if he could come with Lez on his voyage which Lez rudely declines. After Lez left for Kingdom Cum, Clarence heads off with Sergio, Wayn-O, Scruffy and Owly to protect the city. Clarence then observes the Battle of Brown Town from a distance by saying "oh look at all the action, oh there's so much action, oh look at that action" while observing Wayn-O, Scruffy, Donny and Sergio killing a pack of Choomahs to rescue Warning Guy. He then makes a pretty pathetic attempt of luring the Choomahs to him, but they all eventually are rescued by Nolzey. When Clarence is running his daily mail run one morning, Sassy picks him up and puts him in his Gamma Ray Statelite dish, resulting in Clarence's nose to bleed. Clarence's charitable intentions are painfully quashed when Sassy rolls a joint with his winning scratchie, robbing the orphans and other secular charities of the donations they desperately need. When Quinton finds the sasquatches and Owly inside his home, they say they are waiting for Lez who is talking with Clarence. Clarence reveals to Lez they must go back to Choomah Island and destroy the nest. Telling Clarence he'll 'think about it' and to "get the fuck off my lawn", Lez leaves him. After Lez speaks with the others, Lez then informs Clarence that they're all keen to go. Clarence reveals his origins to Lez: he was a scientist on Kingdom Cum when an accident deformed him. He also reveals that he created the Choomahs and Choomah Island. Lez then says to Clarence to meet him at his house at 06:00 hours tomorrow. Donny then appears and tells Clarence to do some jobs at his shop such as vacuuming the carpet and taking out the bins. Clarence accompanies the gang to Choomah Island, to lead them to the hive. Clarence doesn't make much of an appearance (mainly because Lez doesn't let him) until the final battle of Choomah Island. After battling Choomahs, Clarence and the gang are rescued by a chopper piloted by Daednu. Clarence then tells him to take them to the Choomah hive. Sassy gives him a SasM8 to destroy the hive, and before Clarence can throw it down he is attacked by a Choomah and dragged into the hive. Soon after, it's revealed that Choomah Island is actually a massive Choomah. Whilst the rest of the gang fight the remaining Choomahs, Clarence discovers the heart. Before he can blow it up he is attacked by a Choomah. Injured, Clarence decides to sacrifice himself to destroy the Choomahs. Clarence sets off the SasM8, destroying the hive and the Choomah army for good. Clarence's appearance in the Mike Nolan Show, set after the events of Choomah Island 2, confirms that he survived the blast (using his self-regenerative abilities). Category:Characters Category:Kingdom Kumians Category:Season 1 Characters Category:Season 2 Characters Category:Deceased Characters Category:Season 3 Characters